Ilish Craig is a caregiver, one who was driven to help people based on her own experience with an aging family member. Her grandmother entered a retirement home after realizing she couldn’t take care of herself as well as she wanted to, and as Ilish visited her, she saw firsthand the positive impact personal support workers (PSW) and other healthcare professionals had on her grandma’s well-being - from the small things, like bringing her grandma a coffee or reminding her to take her medications, to the big things like her overall quality of life.

It inspired her to pursue a career in long-term care, so she could have the same positive impact on other people’s relatives. As a PSW, Ilish has primarily worked in long-term care facilities with elderly Canadians who have debilitating illnesses. She handled everything for them from the moment they woke up to the moment they went to bed, from feeding and clothing and bathing them, to helping them with assistive motor skills. She describes it as a humbling profession because of the raw, emotional moments you’re witness to.

Working with elderly patients also means that she has seen different levels of end-of-life preparedness and a willingness to discuss their wishes. She describes many people she worked with as “calm, cool, and relaxed” because they have had the important conversations with family, and they’re all set. Others brushed the conversations under the rug, saying they’ll deal with it later - but there isn’t always the opportunity to revisit it, something Ilish has learned firsthand.

Years after her grandmother entered that retirement home, she passed away. A year later, her mother had a health complication after a procedure, and she unexpectedly passed away. She had never thought to discuss end-of-life plans with her mom, and anytime it was brought up in her family it was brushed aside or deprioritized. But after those losses, she was forced to deal with those decisions without her grandmother or her mother informing them.

“Within a year, I lost both my grandma and my mom. Those two women alone were the most influential people in my life, and they raised me into the woman that I am today,” Ilish said, adding that their passing made her reassess her own wishes.

Thankfully, Ilish had several relatives who checked in on her after her mom’s passing, and her aunt in particular nudged her to get her own plans in place. Ilish says her aunt is like a second mom to her, and she would nudge her every few weeks to ask if she had completed her will. She even told Ilish that if she hadn’t completed her will by Thanksgiving, she wouldn’t talk to her until Christmas - which was the prompt Ilish needed to finally prioritize it, avoiding any silent treatment.

Ilish said she “enjoyed doing it because that’s just my Type A personality.” It took her about 30 minutes to complete on Willful, and after printing, signing, and witnessing the document to make it legal, she said she felt a huge weight off her shoulders. As a caretaker by nature, she now doesn’t have to worry about what her husband would do after she’s gone, or who will get what.

As Ilish reflects on her mother’s legacy, she takes comfort knowing that her mother would just want to know that she’s okay. And as Ilish reflects on her own legacy as a caregiver, she has a piece of advice for others.

“Just don't take it for granted and put off what you know is going to happen one day, because that one day could be tomorrow.”